Many people who know me, know I love people watching, and part of that is reading "Dear ..." advice columns. I find they give me others perspectives and help me in situations that come up in my own life. Most of them try to show an empathetic, honest answer for problems about which they are asked.
This morning I was reading "Dear Abby" and read about the writer's co-worker vomiting in the bathroom regularly. She wasn't close enough to this co-worker to check if she was okay, but "Abby" told her to contact HR with the time this person was sick so they could stage a "medical intervention".
You can read the full letter here:
I found this response to be horrible. For decades of my life I was treated by everyone as if my vomiting was bulimia or by choice.
I was written off by multiple doctors as having an eating disorder and given unneeded treatment for such.
I was not given the option of an elimination diet to check for allergies and/or sensitivities until I was well over 30. I was not tested for anything outside thyroid issues, or recommended to a gastrointestinal specialist until I was over 30.
"Dear Abby" assumed in this response, as did the writer, that the sick person was not dealing with vomiting at the best of their ability, and that maybe the writer didn't know that because they we're even close enough to ask if the sick person was okay.
And for the first time in my life, I wrote to a "Dear ... " myself. Here is my response:
Dear Abby,
I just read your answer about the manager that pukes regularly in the bathroom.
After years of being accused of being bulimic, and teased and judged for it, I was diagnosed with Cycle Vomiting Syndrome and other co-morbids.
I would be devastatingly embarrassed by your suggestion of having HR catch the sick person in the bathroom. I would still be embarrassed to find my co-workers had been obsessed enough to write to an advice column about it.
How about, we realize this person is an adult, and is most likely dealing with their personal health problems the best they can and give them privacy.
Thanks,
Ammi
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